Basically, I spend a lot of time wondering if I'm doing the right thing or fighting to do the right thing. There are moments when I am ultimately frustrated, then . . .
- The other night, Ken met up with a friend for dinner after Annika went to bed. I stayed up for a bit with Piper and then did our bedtime routine and she was asleep in her crib. I was amazed at the great feeling I had knowing that I had 2 little girls that were safely asleep in their beds.
- One afternoon as I was getting Annika out of the car, she gave me a hug and spontaneously said, "I love you, Mommy" - oooooh, what a feeling!
- Piper is looking at us and interacting so much more; "talking" and laughing with us. She even stares at me in a loving way while she is nursing. It is amazing how fast they go from little squishy things to "people".
- The other morning, I had brought Piper into bed with me; Annika joined us when she woke up; and, of course, Pumpkin (the kitty) piled in to beg for breakfast. It was a full bed, but nothing beats having the whole family together, cozy and warm!
- Sometimes, when Piper is fussing or playing, Annika goes over to help her or tries to entertain her; she loves doing "tuck tucks" with Piper (that's how we tuck Annika in) when we put her in the carseat. The pride I have that these are our kids is overwhelming.
For all the moments that I am frustrated and worried if I am doing the right thing or made the right choices, there are multiple counter-moments where I can't believe how amazing this journey is! And how much I love my family!
I've been thinking about this post for a while now and have come to one conclusion:
parenthood intensifies emotions
when I question myself, I REALLY question myself; when I am content, I am BURSTING with love; when I am scared or worried, it almost CONSUMES me . . .
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